Mi papá tiene 47 años= my dad is 47 years old
Mi papa tiene 47 anos= my potato has 47 assholes
I love spanish
Are people really mad about Leonardo DiCaprio saying nigga in Django?
He was playing a slave owner in the South during the mid-1800’s.
The hell you want him to say?
“young black man”
“African American chap”
“beautiful chocolate fellows”
Apparently some of my friends think I’m funny.
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says ‘No, you are beautiful.’
I wonder why I cannot be both.
He kisses me
My college theater professor once told me
that despite my talent,
I would never be cast as a romantic lead.
We do plays that involve singing animals
and children with the ability to fly,
but apparently no one
has enough willing suspension of disbelief
to go with anyone loving a fat girl.
I daydream regularly
about fucking my boyfriend vigorously on his front lawn.
On the mornings I do not feel pretty,
while he is still asleep,
I sit on the floor and check the pockets of his skinny jeans for motive,
for a punchline,
for other girls’ phone numbers.
When we hold hands in public,
I wonder if he notices the looks —
like he is handling a parade balloon on a crowded sidewalk;
if he notices that my hands are now made of rope.
Dear Cosmo: Fuck you.
I will not take sex tips from you
on how to please a man you think I do not deserve.
He tells me he loves me with the lights on.
I can cup his hip bone in my hand,
feel his ribs without pressing very hard at all.
He does not believe me when I tell him he is beautiful.
Sometimes I fear the day he does will be the day he leaves.
The cute hipster girl at the coffee shop
assumes we are just friends
and flirts over the counter.
I spend the next two weeks
mentally replacing myself with her
in all of our photographs.
When I admit this to him
we spend the evening taking new photos together.
He will not let me delete a single one of them.
The phrase “Big girls need love too” can die in a fire.
Fucking me does not require an asterisk.
Loving me is not a fetish.
Finding me beautiful is not a novelty.
I am not a fucking novelty.
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says, ‘No. You are so much more’,
and kisses me
Elevated Pushups: Basic, Single Leg, Spiderman
Time to level up? :)
When I first started doing full pushups, it was awesome, but after awhile I wasn’t progressing/getting better at them. I still had a hard time doing more than 20-25 in a row, and I stayed there for a long time.
Once you mastered a move for the first time, you have a few options to get better at it: do more (high volume, like our pushup challenges), do harder modifications, add resistance/weight or plyometrics and be consistent about pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Elevating my pushups was much harder ( I could do dozens and dozens from the floor, but less than 10 elevated), but within a few workouts, I was already feeling stronger. My burpees got better, my plank time improved, and yes, pushups from the floor felt like recovery.
START SLOW: If you’re used to doing a certain number of reps from the floor, know that your reps will be slightly less. That’s okay! Add in short intervals until you get stronger. If you’re still struggling with pushups from the feet, this may be too advanced.
1. Make sure your hands are lined up with your shoulders and take your hands wide. Your eye line should fall in front of your hands (when you look down). You should be able to see a few feet in front of you without straining your neck.
2. Keep your hips lifted (don’t sag) and engage your core and legs (quads). Keep hips facing the floor at all times (especially for single leg or spiderman modifications).
3. Place chair on a secure surface like a mat or against a wall. The first few times, take a peeksie to make sure your feet are in the middle of the chair seat.
4. Push the floor away from you instead of lifting from it.
Beginners: Flip these around to make them easier! Place your hands on the seat of the chair and feet on the ground. The higher the surface, the easier it is. (Easiest: against a wall on an incline).
Give these a try this week in a few of your workouts!
More options here: Working Your Way to Perfect Pushups…
Good for you. Want a cookie
Sweet fuck, this is perfection.
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